Touchstone contemplates the inexorable passage of time
Touchstone is a helpless soul from a bygone era who can't seem to quit RuneScape, despite his best efforts. Clad in ringmaster and wielding his trusty kite, he has become a common sight in W3.
Current Activities[]
In order to cope with the inevitability of death, Touchstone draws silly RuneScape themed pictures
Touchstone is occasionally spotted sulking by the ancient oak tree in world 3 Lumbridge, kicking at the pigeons and cursing under his breath. A textbook case of video game addiction and alcohol abuse, Touchstone spends most of his days reminiscing and ranting about the past.
Nobody knows why Touchstone continues to log in, despite his clear unhappiness. Perhaps it's a sense of obligation? Maybe it's the only time he feels worthwhile? It could even be some sort of twisted psychological addiction to the game. We can only speculate.
Touchstone's hobbies include drinking alone, people watching, and spewing out sad attempts at humor at 130 WPM.
Big Hats[]
Perhaps Touchstone's proudest accomplishment in his bleak RuneScape career is the founding of his clan, Big Hats. Formed promptly after the clan update in 2011, it has seen lengthy periods of both prosperity and inactivity. It is an entirely social clan based out of W3. Members are hand selected in an attempt to avoid confrontation and maximize compatibility between individuals. Due to the fact that the clan exists on the internet, it is a futile effort that's going just about as well as you'd expect.
Most nights, members of Big Hats can be spotted north of the lake in the Lumbridge crater. Touchstone has made it his mission to populate the area, and Big Hats is his instrument for doing so. Unfortunately, Jagex has taken personal offense to this quest and regularly replaces the scenic shrubbery and wildlife with repulsive carnivals and summer events. During these phases, the members of Big Hats are often scattered and helpless, but will occasionally be seen in small packs on top of Ice Mountain, huddling for warmth.
Trains[]
Big Hats members and curious strangers follow Touchstone as he wanders aimlessly.
Touchstone has gained some renown through his parading of trains around the entirety of W3. Though they usually start with only 3 or 4 members of Big Hats, they often peak at 15-20 random players. Many falsely assume that a drop party is taking place, and due to Touchstone's crooked moral compass, he doesn't always correct them. Fortunately, he at least has the decency not to make any false claims.
These shallow illusions of popularity give Touchstone the dopamine rush he needs to make it through the week.
Associates[]
Though most of his friends have quit the game ages ago, Touchstone is known associates with a few other veteran players who can't seem to let go of the past.
Anonymity[]
Artistic representation of Touchstone, as drawn by his good friend Chloe
Unlike most, Touchstone has never disclosed his real name or age. This drives a few of his friends mad, while others simply accept it and move on.
He claims that he simply prefers anonymity online. Unfortunately, not everyone believes him. Some suspect that his unwillingness to diverge personal information stems from a some deep rooted trust issues, or perhaps the fear of something embarrassing being exposed.
Shwep?[]
In recent years, Touchstone appears to have developed a curious new hobby...
Though it is not certain exactly when or why it began, as of late Touchstone is most often found vigorously sweeping the desolate streets of W3. Sometimes he will be accompanied by friends or trains of curious strangers, but most often he is found alone.
Nobody knows what Touchstone hopes to accomplish with this fruitless endeavor, but his unwavering commitment cannot be questioned.
A lucky few who have followed Touchstone for long enough have heard him quietly mutter the phrase 'Shwep' whilst engaging in this activity. What does it mean? We can't be certain...
All we can know for sure is that the once bustling streets of W3 may be completely devoid of activity in 2022, but Touchstone will be damned if they aren't spotless.